


Life turns plans up on their head

by witchesandragons



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: X & Y | Pokemon X & Y Versions
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 16:44:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10139480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchesandragons/pseuds/witchesandragons
Summary: "You never wished to be more than what you were. Before her, you were happy with your future (...) But then, then, you saw her".





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was playing X again and I couldn't help writing something for them

You never had anything to offer her. You couldn’t offer her knowledge, you’ve never been a good trainer, there was always someone who knew more; you couldn’t offer her support, she was the champion, the one who saved the world, people screamed her name and cheered for her every day; you couldn’t offer her love, she was loved, the champion, the savior, the pride of Kalos.

But you? You are nothing. You couldn’t help her against Team Flare (you had been saved by Calem while she faced the rest by herself); you couldn’t help her to prepare to Victory Road, you didn’t even know she was fighting Elite Four until she was declared new Champion. You and your weak pokemon, you and your lack of ambition and power, you who could never be what she needed by her side.

You never wished to be more than what you were. Before her, you were happy with your future: travelling, making friends, developing your friendship with your pokemons, having fun, meeting a guy, having kids. You never hoped for anything more, maybe Calem could have been your choice. But then, then, you saw her. Serena, always with a pretty smile, accepting your inquires, Calem’s hostility, Tierno’s eccentricity, Trevor’s distance. And your fate was doomed. The faceless man in your dreams changed, became a she, a she with a sweet smile, lovely laugh, sparkling eyes and kind expression. A she that would look at you and smile even though everyone else was looking at _her._

It started as a desire for friendship, no more no less. You were the only girl in your group, you wanted more, you wanted a friend to share tips and have fun together. Calem was always so driven, he probably thought you dragged him down; Trevor and Tierno were best friends, they understood each other in a deeper level. You wanted that understanding. So Serena came. She was kind and lovely and _so so very pretty._ You couldn’t help but stare at her and in that moment, you thought it was friendship, you _truly did_. After she took the Chespin and defeated Calem, you cheered for her (it was wrong, you knew, after all Calem had been your friend for longer, Calem was the guy you once saw yourself with, but there you were, cheering for the new girl that defeated him with a sweet smile and hugged her newly acquired Chespin with adoration). You couldn’t help but want to drown her in your attention, you wanted to express just how _awesome_ she was, but words failed you, they failed you constantly. Serena caught your stare and you couldn’t help it, really, your heart beat faster and you just had to tell her _how awesome, incredible_ she was. You did, but when you noticed Calem…  When you noticed the way Calem looked at her, something wrong got stuck in your chest. He looked at you and maybe he understood.

You still thought it was just friendship. The times you called her to chat even though you were in different towns, doing different things, _being different people_ and your heart fluttered in your chest and her laugh was still the most beautiful thing you ever heard. But it was still friendship, she was your best friend, _friend, friend, friend._ Nothing else.

Things changed in the Parfum Palace. You never had more fun in your life and it made you think how amazing it could be if it was just the two of you, running after the Furfrou together, laughing and having fun. Your heart was never fuller. You reached for her hand during the fireworks and it _burned_ for hours after you left her. You had a silly smile on your face for days after that and you knew _, you knew_ , it wasn’t friendship at all.

The time passed and your crush turned into a full blow love… So did Calem’s.

You two talked after defeating Team Flare.  You started it because you needed to know, because you _just_ needed to know.

“Do you like her?”

“Of course,” he said. “We’re going to help her, right?”

“No, not like that. Do you _like like_ her? As a girlfriend?”

He hesitated and you knew. He blushed a little and nodded.

“You like her like that too,” he said and you nodded.

Your conversation was disturbed by Serena’s battle against Xerneas.  You stopped and watched because watching Serena in the middle of a battle was _magnificent_.  Her Chesnaught was holding out against Xerneas’ attack and you wondered why you weren’t scared, why you were so sure she was going to win. Calem was nervous, he wanted to interfere, to help, he didn’t trust her like you did, he couldn’t appreciate the art of all that. _He didn’t deserve her._ But you could watch her like this all your life, you were never threatened by her power, on the contrary, you were enamored by it.

She won and you celebrated it strongly, while Calem stood watching. Something shone in his eyes and you hated it. Serena was too busy fighting Lysandre and his plans, but you were happy when she stood by your side instead of Calem. (you were the weak one, Calem wouldn’t need help, you would; it’s not that she liked you more, but you needed help more than he did). You were ashamed and you left her be. You didn’t deserve her even though you doubt someone could look at her and see the masterpiece you did.

You trained more and had less fun. You talked to your pokemons and you asked them for strength. Months had gone by and your heart still hurt for her. She tried to contact you sometimes, but you were always busy “Sorry, S-kins, lots of fun to have!”. You were practicing, because you had an idea. You would challenge her to a pokemon battle and you would give it everything you had, you and your pokemon and after the battle, you would declare yourself to her.

It didn’t work, of course. Professor Sycamore challenged her first, then you came and you fought well. Delcatty, Goodra and Greninja gave everything they could and more, they knew your plan, they knew your suffering, your yearning for someone you could never have.  When the fight was over, when she smiled at you all proud and _perfect_ and your heart was just _so tight_ , you just wanted to scream “I love you!”, but Tierno and Trevor came and she had to battle them.  You just lowered your head and accepted your fate: to yearn for her forever. You gave her the Waterfall, the HM you worked so hard to get, you wished her farewell and you expected your heart not to explode in your chest when you ran away from her.

You tried to forget about her, you made new friends, got new pokemon, had _fun,_ but your heart still hurt when she called you. Her voice was always calm and peaceful, it always made you feel better with yourself. Sometimes, you just closed your eyes and let her talking, you could sleep for the rest of your life with her sweet voice in your ears. You had to let her go, but you couldn’t, could you? Not totally anyway.

You refused her calls for a while.

She was now the champion and you still loved her. You knew she was brilliant, but it annoyed you when people (they didn’t know her!) tried to act as if she was brilliant because she defeated Elite Four, no, you knew the truth:  she was brilliant, so she defeated Elite Four. Serena would be brilliant and amazing and incredible and beautiful and magnificent and perfect being the champion or not.  It changed nothing to you, did it? Her smile would still be the best thing in your world and no victories or loses would change that.

In the parade to celebrate Serena’s new title and her role in saving the world, AZ challenged her to a battle. You watched with rapt and complete admiration. Your love was less hurtful now. You could love her without feeling hurt and upset by the knowledge that she didn’t love you back. Floette came back and the reunion between them was beautiful.  You wanted to cry because you did understand what it feels like to love someone from afar and having to _wait for so long._

_**_

You were all in a diner. Sycamore was laughing of something Tierno said, Trevor was monopolizing Serena asking her about Xerneas and the Elite four, you and Calem were silently eating your food. He looked at you weirdly.

“Since when do you stay so quiet?”

You didn’t feel like talking, how to explain to him that you invitation for dinner was for Serena only but everyone else decided to join in? You wanted to talk to her, to declare yourself, to take this weight off your chest.  Your friend, Clemont, had given you a good idea: to visit new places, places away from Kalos, somewhere without Serena in every corner, somewhere where you could truly love her from afar and _be happy._ Having her so near was a nightmare and heaven, all in one. You had planned to tell Serena your feelings and to tell her that you were leaving.  It was supposed to be simple and light, but everyone just had to come along. You wanted to at least sit near her, but Trevor was faster taking the seat in front of her and Calem taking her left, Sycamore took her right and you were left away from her. As usual.

“I’m just thinking about AZ and his Floette”, you say.

“Man! Tell me about it,” says Tierno. “It was beautiful, but the Floette waited for him for _so long_ and he looked for the Floette for even longer!”

“A long lasting love,” says Sycamore with a gentle, yet tired smile.

“But three thousand years?!” says Tierno again. “Why didn’t Floette go after AZ? Why didn’t AZ give up when he noticed that Floette wasn’t returning? Three thousand years!”

The table absorbed his words. You examined the people around you. Sycamore was looking at the table, his face was full of regret. Trevor scratched his head trying to comprehend what he was supposed to say. Calem looked at you and then at Sycamore, he wanted to say something, but didn’t know how. And Serena… She seemed sad and she looked at you when she noticed your stare, she forced a smile.

“I think,” she started, “that none of us will ever understand what they’ve been through, but they are happy now, finally. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“That’s right,” says Trevor agreeing with her.

You should stay silent. You truly should.

“They love each other,” you says and all heads went to you. ”They love each other and they decided it was worth to wait for the other for so long. Floette never stopped loving AZ, but she waited for him to do what he had to do. She loved him enough to know he needed to be without her for a while and maybe she needed to be without him as well. I think they needed to find themselves separately first before meeting again.”

“That was deep!” says Tierno out loud.

You looked at Serena and she had pride in her eyes. 

“I do wonder,” said Serena. All the rest seemed to disappear. “What things you keep inside yourself to be able to understand this pain.”

You don’t answer. You can’t. You can’t lie to her, but telling her the truth like that in front of everyone, in front of Calem? No, you couldn’t possibly. So you smile and deflect. But the way Serena looked at you will probably follow you for the rest of your life.

Sycamore is the first one to go, Trevor follows him and Tierno goes too because he has to.  It’s weird. Calem looks at you almost asking you to leave, but you can’t because this is your way out, your chance to say the truth and be free. It is your moment to leave and know yourself separately.

In the middle of the war of wills, Serena excuses herself.

“I’m going to the toilet,” she said with a knowing expression. “It seems like you two need to talk.”

When she leaves, you tell him to go home first.

“I _need_ to tell her,” you said with conviction. You’ll leave Kalos in three days, it’s now or never. “You can wait until tomorrow.”

He denies. Selfish boy.

“I also need to tell her,” he says.

“Why do you have to do it today?”

“Why do _you_ have to do it today?”

You sigh. You’re feeling tired of this competition, if this can even be called like that.

“I’m leaving Kalos and I just want to tell her I love her before going away.”

He blushes and you sigh again.

“You win, you know?” it stings to admit it, but you do anyway because he is her equal, not you. “You won and I just want to be truthful about my feelings. It hurts to keep things in.”

He doesn’t nod, but his expression darkens.

“Where are you going?”

“Who knows?” you laugh. “Alola, Kanto, Hoen, who knows?”

“Hum, Serena wanted to go to Alola as well.”

So, you won’t go to Alola, it’s fine. You truly just want to look in her eyes one last time and to say the words stuck in your throat for last years.

He admits defeat and leaves.

When Serena returns, it’s just the two of you and she smiles when she sits in front of you.

“Calem left?”

You nods.

“Hey, Serena, can we take a walk?”

It’s now or never. She agrees.

 

Lumiose city was a nice place at night. All bright and pretty. The weather was nice, the scene was nice, the company was _perfect._ You wish it could be like this forever, but you shook your head.

It’s how it’s supposed to be.

“You wanted to me tell me something?” asked Serena. You nod and pull her to a nice bench surrounded by trees.

You look at her then. Under the bright lights of Lumiose, her eyes are still the most beautiful sight. She smiles and your heart explodes in your chest.  You want nothing more in that moment than to kiss her, but you remember why you are there with her: you are leaving. You take a deep breath.

“Hey, Serena.”

A loud noise attracted your attention at the same time. A large Furfrou was playing with a child while her parents watched.

“It’s always about Furfrou with us,” said Serena chuckling.

You watch her. It’s just surprises you how _happy_ you are, how something so _stupid_ like watching a child play with a Furfrou could make you so peaceful, so incredibly happy. You heart seems full.

“Serena,” you call and she turns to you.

“What?”

When Clemont told you that he liked you, he did it without any expectation. “I just wanted to let you know,” he said, “now I can move on.” You remember feeling confused, after all you never told him you didn’t like him. But you remember his face when you said that. He smiled, scratched his head and told you. “You look at Serena as if she made the galaxy herself, Shauna. Since the first time we saw each other, I knew I could never beat her. Not in a pokemon battle, not in your heart.”

So you decide to do exactly like Clemont.

“I like you.”

She tilts her head and you decide to be more direct.

“I’m in love with you,” you take a deep breath. “And I love you.”

She is surprised and you feel _light_.

“It seems like a weight was taken from my shoulders,” you say with a laugh. “You don’t have to say anything, but I needed to say it… At least once because—!”

Serena’s lips taste like cherry and you _love it_ , less because it’s cherry, more because it’s Serena. The kiss was light, but it had you smiling like a fool when your lips parted.

Serena smiles at you and your heart is beating so fast you didn’t think it was possible. You licked your lips and her smile got _bigger._

“I like you too,” she said in a whisper. “Nothing I did was planned. It just happened. Suddenly I was the Champion and I had defeated Team Flame. It was so fast! Years and—“

You kiss her again because you’ve wanted this for so long, you wanted Serena and she had just said what you heard only in your dreams. She was warm in your arms and her skin was soft beneath your fingertips, she smelled like a cheap perfume you saw in a boutique earlier, but you can’t remember why you didn’t like it then. It was so _her._  What you do remember (kind of) was that Calem was with you while you were searching for something in that boutique…

“Wait,” you say and you miss her lips immediately. “What about Calem?”

“Hum? What about him?”

She seems innocent, completely unaware of his feelings…

“He likes you too, you know?”

She distances herself a little after that, but you never had that before, so you scoot closer.

“I know, I think,” she says in a low tone, “but I never… Just…”  Silence.

“Oh.”

You never _ever_ imagined this would be the outcome.

“I always thought he had a chance, you know? More than me.”

She denied and you truly wished you could just forget everything and kiss her again.

“I never looked at him,” she said. “And you kind of got under my skin.” She chuckled.

You laugh because minutes ago everything was so different and you wanted to leave, to go away as far as possible, as far from Serena as possible, but you couldn’t, now you are here, with her eyes on you and _love,_ and, and, and—

You kiss her again and the world is nice and you are peaceful.

Tomorrow will be another day when you’ll have to deal with the fact that you aren’t her equal, and she is the champion and you’re nothing, but today, today, you are in Serena’s arms, the place where you always wanted to be, so you will enjoy it.

Tomorrow, you will think about future and broken hearts and duties, because right now she’s smiling at you in a way that make your insides melt.

And truthfully, that’s all that matters.

 


End file.
